IMPORTANT NOTICE

Hey y'all, this is my film company's latest flick. We're trying to make it go viral and would really really really appreciate it if you could help us spread it around. There isn't much time left and there are 2 vital points in this film which people need to see.

The election is fast approaching. What are YOU going to do about it?

Blessings,

Randomosities, Art & Fluffy Nothingness

Well, today you get a big pile of stuff that doesn't even fit together. Randomosities. Blurdom. Craziness.

You get an attempted self portrait I did last night. I can't decide who it really is, though. Me, my contemplating, pondering self? Or ContentiousPianoNut (name changed to protect character), who is basically me in written form, in my novel? If that's the case than I gave her a SERIOUS hair cut which she would hate immensely. Of course, I guess I would hate it, too. But that's just the way I decided the hair would look best, here.

 I actually rather like how I did her...er...my hair. If you have any honest, blunt critique I would appreciate hearing it, even if you tell me you think my work is terrible. Personally, to me, these days, empty flattery is worth almost nothing and blunt truth is worth a million bucks or more.

It's an art to be able to tastefully portray what you're REALLY thinking about something, in a loving, gentle way, without coming across as sugar-coating it or dumping heaps of fake praise.

I appreciate compliments as long as they are heartfelt. If they are, then it's a blessing. Sugary cotton-candy consistancy fluffy nothingness? Words spoken simply because the person wanted to try and be 'polite' or overly generous? It is hard to stomach flattery. I am not bashing the lovely people who pour heaps of compliments and tell everyone "good job" a gazillion times. I know a number of very sweet people who do this and I am not saying it is evil. It can work well with little children in building confidence and affirmation of their talents and jobs well done.

There comes a point however when honesty and semi-blunt or even downright bluntness can enter and be fully appreciated. I embrace honesty and heartfelt words. The friend that may only compliment me once in a while? And, when he/she does, it is done very sparsly? I can usually tell they sincerely mean it when they tell me I did a good job.

It's harder to believe the person who dumps bucketfulls of "GREAT JOB!"s on you seemingly 24/7.

Sincerity.

There's an untold amount of value in that virtue.

Ok, ok, I'll stop ranting about fluffy nothingness and flattery.

Did I tell you this last Saturday Southern Lights got to play at another venue?

Well, in case I didn't. We did! The venue? The annual McIntosh 1890's Festival, which attracts 50,000 people yearly.

It being a super fun time of fellowship. My beautiful, sweet grandmother helped us with the transportation of getting there and accompanied us during the day, which was another huge blessing.

I know God blessed the opportunity and used us to point people towards Him. It was so amusing to watch people's reactions as they passed us or hung around and listened for a few minutes.

Typically, people appear either 1., amused, 2., curious, or 3., blessed, when they see/hear us playing.

We haven't been doing this but only two occaisons now, but Maygan had the idea to open her violin case so people could put in tips if they wanted. We just started doing this last week at the Micanopy Festival, and it went very well there. Here? We made almost 70 dollars in 1 hour. Let me make it clear, just in case the idea arises that we are performing for money, we aren't. One thing I didn't care for about having the case out was how it could possibly give us that appearance.

We play because 1., we want to point people to God through our music, and 2., we just love doing it for the fun of it. We don't need money involved, to have a great time. It IS an added blessing though, and we were blown away by how much the Lord allowed us to receive that day. It will help in saving for Maygan's new violin and my new guitar among savings, tithes, and other things.

One of the most common refrains I hear from people when we're performing is how they "never see accordion-players around anymore." Apparently I am the last accordionist on earth. (not really, (derrr) but they sure make it LOOK that way) I don't even know why entirely that I even picked the accordion as another instrument to play. It's such an awkward, unusual piece, really. And 16 year old American girls don't typically play them these days. I have yet to meet one and when I do that will be a most interesting event.

But it's kind of an amusing relationship, the accordion and I.

On the one hand, it is so big and clunky and rather humorous. But on the other hand, it is different, unusual, unique. Maybe I'm somewhat crazy for picking such an instrument at my age. But that's the side which I like. I love how people walk by, a perplexed look on their faces to see a young girl playing an instrument typically embraced by elderly people, and CERTAINLY not the teen culture of today. I can't deny that I like being different.

Here be my fabulous fiddling friend and I enjoying some ice cream after about an hour of music. Boy, was that stuff good, too. Mmmm.

Well, I'll stop jabbering now. I have algebra to work on and I'm sure you're probably bored to death listening to me yack about being an accordionist and all that insanity. DO tell me what you thought of the sketch though. I don't need to repeat my thoughts on sincerity and honest critique. 

Happy Tuesday!

Blessings,

 

Flames

As it gets cooler, I look forward to having more and more bonfires outside.

We have been having some lately, tonight was one of those evenings. I don't really photograph fire much but I had the notion a few days ago and finally acted on it today.

I also had the notion to take a couple photos of me with one of my knives. I have this thing about self-portraits with knives in them, yes, I know it is beyond crazy. It may or may not be slightly creepy. I don't know. You tell me.

I didn't intend to appear so...well, how would you describe it? Angry? Dark? Insane? Hm.

Maaaayyyybbeeeee I was picturing myself as Kelita, one of the characters from a screenplay I hope to film one day. Kelita, in one of her "don't you dare mess with me" moods, that is. :P

 Maybe I was being a bit overly dramatic.

And that spot above my eye, below, here? A mosquito I didn't have a chance to swat at.

One of these days I will have to rant to y'all about our horrid amount of those nasty little devils. Ugh.

So.

How has your Monday been? Crazy, insane? Maybe a tad dark? No? Well, I'd love to hear about it, anyways.

Con amor,

Dance + Fitness Music Picks

This is a nice peppy beat good for kickboxing dance routines.

Hey all you mahvelous peoples! I have to say I have been so excited to see that my blog has actually...*gasp*...been getting some views lately! It's up to almost 800. Ok, yeah, I know that's not much, but hey. It's better than nothing. And 800 is a lot to me.

So. I want to thank y'alls for coming and checking out my blog. You know you've made me a lot more motivated to post on here and actually keep the Apassionata active. So thanks again.

Well, I stumbled upon this guy on Youtube who creates his own ambient electronic dance and techno music.

Typically? I am not a fan of techno-anything. I am more drawn to the wierd, funky genres which technically exist under no specific genre...yet. Really. I have no clue as to how to describe some of the music I listen to.

So anyways. I found this guy and he makes his own ambient electronic dance and techno music. Wait... I guess I already told you that. Blehh. Whatev. So the point is, there's some pretty cool stuff on his channel.

I just found myself my favorite new track to dance to, me thinks.

By the way, how many of y'all like to work out, run, kickbox or dance?

I have been into all 4 of those lately. :) Okayyy, not so much the kickboxing, however I HAVE been doing this cardio workout routine which involves kickboxing moves. And it feels awesome.

Dancing is fun. Ages ago, wayyyy back when, I took ballet and tap dance at a studio in Ocala. I enjoyed it.

NOW? I don't even dance in public or around anybody actually, for many reasons which I won't go into right now.

I just close the bedroom door, turn up the music, and dance. By myself. It's epic. And I love to sweat. Did I ever mention that before? Well, I do. Another random fact you should know about me. I adore sweating. It's wierd sounding I know, but who can't love the feeling of toxins leaving the body??

This is another fun dance track.

So. I am not sure what kind of dancing I do, exactly. I sort of make my own moves up. Hehe. They're probably wierd and crazy, but maybe that's one of the reasons I dance in private. ;)

Y'all already know how I adore running. But I haven't really gotten a chance to run lately so I'll spare you any details on that subject.

I just wanted to share these 3 tracks which are my new fave workout music videos. :)

Have a blessed Sunday! (for us, it's our church homecoming day)

Con amor,

P.S. Oh, and by the way, what are your favorite work-out/dance songs? Leave me a comment! I'd love to hear what they are!

Live Action Continues to Expose Planned Parenthood Lies...

http://liveactionnews.org/culture/imaginary-mammograms-galore-call-planned-parenthood/

This is really nothing new, and quite expected, really, from Planned Parenthood, but it still disturbs me how their very own company president could lie so blatantly like this.

Not saying that other company/organization presidents and CEOs don't lie also, because I know that countless do. We're human beings who mess up.

But I have always been against Planned Parenthood for the very reason concerning how they are one of the biggest abortion-providers in the country. That alone has made them "the bad guys" in my eyes.

Obama obviously supports them. Which is no surprise. And only reaffirms why I am anti-Planned Parenthood.

But anyways. This post wasn't to tell you why I am against their slaughterhouses. (Oops, I mean 'organization')

I just wanted to share that link up there ^^ at the top of the page, with you. Read it for yourself and pass it on so that others can be made aware of P.P.'s lies and propaganda.

They just never stop.

Sincerely,

"Only Time" | Another New Piano Cover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?'v=S1KopVCSbwc&list=UUJItj_F5RPF5MzmzjKFjxMA&index=1&feature=plcp

Hey y'all! Guess what! Yep, I've got another piano cover out for y'all to listen to if you wish.

It's of Enya's song, "Only Time". I love that one. Of course, I love most of Enya's music, anyway.

:D She has such a unique style and voice.

Well, hope y'all enjoy it! Tell me what you think in the comments! I can't wait to hear from you!

And...I know I should be logging off now, but can I just say that having awesome late-night BOOK CHARACTER chats with Grims and Azzie are just epic? I can't believe I never thought of doing that before but let me tell you it rocks. My characters are having a ball...well, uh, most of them.

So that's random. But whatever, I'm pretty random anyway as you've probably seen by now.

Happy Monday!

 

Here I Am | NEW PIANO COVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtWrOQyKXik&feature=autoplay&list=UL5tZgIjVRxms&playnext=1

Lookie, lookie! I've got a new piano cover out!

It's of the song "Here I Am" from the film Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. I love that song and just had to learn to play it on the piano. Learned this completely by ear.

Well, hope y'all enjoy it! Tell me what you think!

THERE WILL BE A NEW COVER OUT ON MONDAY. SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

Alright, alright, enough with the caps lock. I'll spare you.

Hope y'all are having a blessed week!

Hugs,

Don’t Let The World See My Bleeding Heart

Today....well, I praise God for another day He has given me to live. He has already demonstrated bountiful blessings and mercies today, and all of those I am so thankful for.

I will admit....some of them I am still trying to learn to be grateful for. Let's just say today's also been filled with gallons and gallons of testing and trial.

I have no room to complain on any of the trials I've been going through, because in comparison they are....hardly worthy to be called tribulations. But none-the-less, they are there and they have been giving me quite a time. I guess the Lord is allowing satan the tempt me. Which I am thankful for. Because it shows that the devil is angry with me, I must be doing something right, to be making him mad like that.

But seriously....literally a minute after I finished prayers this morning, BAM! A huge patience test hits me in the face and I flunk it.

Things got progessively worse but the Lord helped me climb out of my mess I'd created. He's still helping me. Today's not even half-way done yet, so I must continue on. I must.

I wrote a poem. Haven't been writing much poetry lately but once in awhile, the inspiration will pop in and I am forced to write it down. Can't stand losing inspiration when it happens, you know. :)

So here it is.

“Bleed in Secret”

Oh, I’m fallin’ down,

Oh I feel alone.

Oh I need some help cause

 I can’t do this on my own.

Find myself running,

Trying to get away.

From everything around me,

I try to hide my face.

Don’t want them to see me crying,

Can’t let them see the tears.

Don’t want them to know I’m suffering

They don’t need to know my fears.

Abba, Father, I need You

No one else would understand.

No one sees the hurt within me

You alone can see within.

You know my heart is breaking

I feel it ripping apart.

But Father, please, I beg you,

Don’t let the world see my bleeding heart.

Don’t let my suffering become their suffering

Oh please, let it stop right with me.

While I ache and endure this hardship,

Let it be as if they never knew

What I am going through.

-

So maybe you read it and you're perplexed about what the heck I'm talking about....I mean, bleeding in secret? "Leah, are you into self-injury/cutting yourself now or something??"

No. I respect my body too much for that. This poem is referring to how when we go through trials, there are times when we need to...go through them in a way that doesn't cause others to have to suffer, too.

I don't want to enflict the pain and suffering that I'm currently going through on those around me. They don't need that. Yes, it's good to vent it out sometimes, but as Solomon said very wisely, "there's a time for everything." If I'm angry about something, I don't need to let my anger seep out and soil the day around me. I must allow God to cut it from my heart, bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut when I want to snap back at somebody.

If I'm in pain, physically and/or emotionally, I need to keep that pain to myself. In this season of my life, that's what I need to do. Just gotta bite the bullet and be strong.

The world doesn't need to see my tears.

What have you been struggling with lately? I hope the Lord has been guiding you through whatever it may be.

Blessings,

So My Mind Went Blank.....

....on titles for this post, at least. I thought about calling it something very specific relating to the topic I am going to write on today, but then I remembered I would probably be adding in a ton of other random tidbits that won't fit under the title's caption very well. Oh, forget about the title, who cares? I'll stop yakking about nonsense and get to the heart of this post.

SOO...you're probably wondering WHAT in all creation this is about? Guess. Really. YES, really!  I want to see your responses about this. Ooh! Idea! I should have a caption contest!! :D

But before that...did I ever tell you I am a lumberjack sometimes? Ok, well, maybe that's a little overstated, but...hey...it's fun to be dramatic in what words you use. ;) So maybe I'm not working 9-5 in a lumber mill, or cutting down 90 ft.-tall pines. And my biceps are certainly not the size of Paul Bunyan's.

However, I did work a good bit out in the west-side garden. (We have several garden plots on property, this was just one of them) Florida has two main seasons for growing vegetables. Spring/early summer, and winter. The latter is our biggest, because the bugs aren't so terrible and the heat not so insanely oven-like.

I just love winter. Everything about it. Getting to wear hoodies, long sleeved shirts and jackets. Being able to wear my cowboy boots without people looking at me funny, because, well, I adore my cowboy boots, and wear them year-long. Even in 100 degree heat.

What else is there to love about the cooler season? I could go on and on...writing in my book, a cup of hot chocolate in hand next to the fireplace. Bonfires and roasting marshmellows. Night-time hide and seek with the boys. Going running, and feeling the epic combination of sweat and cold, evening breeze. Oh, I am looking forward to it.

 You are probably thinking, "oh, a snow picture! maybe it was from a freak snow storm in FL!" Guess again. This was in 'Bama two years ago on a visit to  some of our friends. FL don't get no snow here. :P

FL is practically 98% boiling hot and 2% mildly chilly, in comparison to other northern states. Last year, our winter was...puh...barely a winter, it was so mild. Our veggies were pretty enemic because of that factor. Cool-weather veggies need COOL WEATHER. Not 80 degree days in mid-January.

SO. I am hoping and hoping and hoping that 2012 will finish the year off with a nice, COLD winter.

Ok, so I took a bunny-trail there and lost my place. I was supposed to be telling you about my lumberjack career, wasn't I? ;) So as I was saying, the cool season for planting vegetables is here, and I've been working on getting the soil all tilled up and prepared for planting. Clay, as hard as it is to work with, broken down and worked, can actually produce good, rich soil. Ours is actually pretty nice right now and I think it's ready for the seeds. But what I worked on specifically yesterday, was the fence surrounding the west garden.

Random fact of the day: I put up both garden fences that are in existence today. All by myself. About two years ago. With a post-hole digger, shovel, axe and saw. Got 'er done decent enough. But, two years later, those same fences are falling apart and the chicken wire is all warped and mangled from weather and 4 brothers who try to jump over/climb/hit baseballs against it.

So it's time for a new means of keeping the dogs out. What means would this be? Take a look at this picture I snapped at Mount Vernon last week. 

As you can see, the concept is stacking wood in a strategic manner, sort of like Lincoln-Logs.

How the heck did this relate to my lumberjack comment? I will now explain. Obviously to have logs, one must either 1., go buy the wood, or 2., cut it yourself. I did number two there. Had some old trees in the woods that I chopped into logs and then stacked to form a fence. Quite a good bit of axing there, and today my arms are feeling it.  Got about a quarter of the whole thing done. It looks pretty good so far despite the mess surrounding the area...old chicken wire, old wood posts I had to pull up, tools, oh it's a fine mess right now.  Daddy's not too happy about it, either. :P

SO now you know about the lumberjack thing.

Gosh, I spent wayyy too long talking about that. The main thing I wanted to say today was...well. I'll just tell you right now.

Do you ever wonder if God truly forgives you when you mess up? I do, all the time. It's one of my most constant worries these days. I mess up...so often. Y'all know that, some, more than others. My family? They know it...well...I'll just leave it there. :P
So, I flunk and mess up quite often. What happens then? I go to God, (and, if it was a specific other person I wronged, them too) and ask forgiveness. And leave it there.

BUT....is that truly all I must do? It's been a struggle to believe this entirely, and not worry to death over it, but the answer...is yes. Leave it. Forget about it. Trust me, satan's going to make that last bit hard to do. I have been struggling with a particular sin lately, and he keeps reminding me about how I've flunked so bad in it. Get behind me, satan.

He tries to rub in my failures, like rubbing acid into a wound. And I must cast him out in the Name of Jesus, ignoring his spiteful words.

I must trust one-hundred-percent that God DOES forgive when He says He does. When I go to Him, begging His forgiveness. He forgives. I choose to accept that. That's all I can do, anyway.

At church today, I was only reminded all the more that He really does forgive. He is an awesome God, and incredibly merciful to His children. Aren't you just so in awe of that? What He does for us every day?

Even now, He is advocating for us in Heaven, even now, He is protecting and preserving us.

I will never ever be able to thank Him for all that He's done for me, entirely. There is no end to the praises and thanks He is worthy of receiving.

Hope y'all have had a blessed Sunday so far, I certainly have!

Con amor,

Life These Days

Well, first of all....I am officially the worst blogger on earth. But y'all probably already knew that.
Life...it's been...how do I even describe it? I am not sure where to start. Things have been so crazy, so hectic, so....life.

Random rose that I snapped a picture of a few months ago. I rather like how it turned out.

The struggles of everyday continue. I continue to experience an equilibrium of peace and chaos, joy and pain, confusion and order. Did I ever tell you how scatterbrained I am? Well, that's a pretty well-known fact about yours truly. My mind exists in a constant state of trying to go a million ways at one time. That's just how I function these days. How productive I am in this state? That's debateable. I like to think that I make good use of multi-tasking.

Random picture of Luke on his birthday--he's such a cutie pie.

Mom says that multi-tasking is really pretty ineffecient (did I spell that right? Ugh, y'all probably know how terrible I stink at spelling.) and I know there is truth to that statement. There have been times when I have tried to run around and do a million things and then only a few of those even turn out decent. It's a hard task to ballance 10 different activities all at once. But it's something that, hard as it is, I live on. I thrive on it, strange as it sounds, especially since I flunk so bad at it often. But...that is how my mind works.

Even now, as I type this shabby little blog post on this shabbly little blog of mine, my mind is drifiting to a gazillion other places, people, tasks to do, you name it. Music events coming up which I need to practice my Southern Lights music for. Writing I need to do for my novel and screenplay. A dialogue I need to work on for an upcoming GFP political short film. My brothers who I need to spend more time with, and treat a heck of a lot better. Oh, and did I mention school? You don't want to know how terribly behind I've let myself fall in math. It's my fault; really, it is. I procrastinate horribly. So. What can I say. It's my fault.

Once again, something else I need to work harder on.

(Took this up in DC past weekend...ain't it such a perty rose?)

I have allowed my walk with God to...suffer. "Feel like God is distant? Guess who moved." I want to slap myself again and again for how I have abandoned Him when He has never once abandoned me.

I almost wish that a tribulation or trial would arise, so that I might be rebuked and chastised--every time this has happened to me in the past, it has pushed me closer to God. And every time, I am so dearly thankful for it. I know there are trials I am suffering through right now, in my life, however. It's not like life has ever been a piece of cake. No, no, no. It's just that the smaller trials tend to just get covered over as every-day annoyances, which you just endure through and don't really rely on God to get through, when the big ones come and force you to cry out to God for strength because you don't have anywhere else to go.

BUT, there have been times when those little every-day annoyances built up so greatly that suddenly, you are overwhelmed, outrun, totally wearied and exhausted. Suddenly, you are completely ashamed of yourself, and desperate to run to God.

(My brothers and I in Jax a few weeks ago. Taken by our marvelous father.)

I have not been sure how to describe my spiritual position lately. I cannot describe my feelings and soul condition. Honestly. The few things I can piece out about it is that I am completely and incredibly undeserving of the grace bestowed upon me by the Lord. I cannot even begin to say how unworthy I am.

• I need Him. I.need.Him. More.than.anything.else.
• I am a miserable failure without Him.
• My mind is a morass, a trap I set for myself and find myself ensnared in daily, without Him.
• My heart is wearied, lost, broken, tear-stained without His embrace.
• I cannot die to my own sins without His help.

These are facts, clear as clear can be. As hard as I try to repent of my wretched wrongs and sins, I can't do it. Not without Jesus stepping in and helping me, lifting me from the miry mess I sink down into.

I am such a mess. Really, I am. And I suppose that's exactly why He came to die. For terrible messes like me. I sure am thankful for that. He is far, far, far too good to me.

Ok, I know I've been ultra-random today. Big surprise though, right? Welcome to my world. I am the queen of random. I am insane, crazy, well, organized chaos if there is such a thing.

And, it's time for me to wrap up this insane, crazy post. I know it wasn't as great as it could have been but...I hope you enjoyed it and were blessed by it in some way, anyway.

In other news, we just got back from our weeklong road trip up to Bethesda, Maryland, and the nation's capitol....Washington D.C. Maybe I will do a post just for that, with a ton of pictures. One of these days. See, I'm also the queen of procrastinators. Go figure.

Well, anyhoo, time to go. I am worn out. And still have the idealistic notion to write in my novel.

Blessings, y'all!