Monday, January 4, 2016

Kintsukuroi // beautiful ending {the final chapter of 2015}

"Oh, why do I let myself let go
of Hands that painted the stars
and hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart makes me forget
It's not me but You, that makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You, Your dying for me
So tell me, what is our ending?
Will it be beautiful, so beautiful?"

-Beautiful Ending by BarlowGirl

// 2015 was a whirlwind. 
It was a tsunami that has left me stunned, numbed and speechless. I still can't believe it's nearly gone, and I still can't believe all that happened within these 365 days. 

Not gonna lie, I've had pleasanter years. 2015 was exhilarating and bombastic. It was full of beautiful moments and wonderful memories. 

But I also made mistakes, had my heart broken a few times and cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. Along with the good memories, there are plenty of times I wish I could forget. Things I wish I hadn't said, bad choices I made. I wandered away from God many times. 
I feel like I was a prodigal child this year in my relationship with the Lord. Still, as I draw back closer to Him, His grace and peace only becomes sweeter. 

Even amidst those painful experiences and messes I got myself into, there is still a silver lining. I learned valuable lessons which I will never forget, and you can mark my word, I won't be making the same mistakes again. I am a stronger person for having gone through 2015. Parts of me may have been broken, but I know these scars do not define me. When you look at me, don't think that I presume to know everything or imagine myself to be immaculate. Don't look surprised when you find out I've taken some hits and botched things up. 

I was just a shattered vessel that the Lord pieced back together with love and patience. I'm no longer broken because He has won the victory for me and He has pulled me out of the ashes. I'm not the same girl you knew last year. I'm a work in progress. God is writing my story, and I'm just trying to go where He leads. 

So, from this perspective, 2015 was like a piece of kintsukuroi - broken Japanese pottery that is pieced back together with gold. In the end, the pottery is even more beautiful for having been broken.

Some of the highlights from 2015 included but were not limited to -
♪ many amazing reenactments and improving my reenacting impressions vastly
♪ taking up snare drumming for reenacting, creating my female soldier impression
♪ my very first individual piano concert
♪ lots of piano teaching
♪ lots of instruction with my own piano teacher 
♪ lots of adventures traveling and exploring new places with people I care about
♪ lots of trips to get coffee with mom 
♪ starting a beautiful courtship with my best male friend
♪ revising The Rebels of Florida, to be completely historically accurate
♪ started brainstorming other new book ideas
♪ got to go to lots of dances
♪ started up my own local monthly contra dance group 
♪ got my first car
♪ went shooting, canoeing, camping, and hiked everywhere possible
♪ got paid to do my biggest art commission ever 
♪ got to meet two of my distance writing friends, Lauren and Carilyn in person
♪ our family had a cow for a little while
♪ got to hear/see the Piano Guys in person

from when our dear friends visited

reenacting memories
McIntosh contra
Gainesville contra, for the first time together

my ride!

before-Maygan's-wedding girls' day out

My best friend's wedding happened <3

With one of my piano students at the first recital I coordinated 

playing with the Morses at Ocali Country Days

possibly my favorite picture of the year

canoe trips with him are the best
My favorite commission yet 

 Southern Lights playing at the Micanopy festival 

Southern Lights playing at the McIntosh fall festival

from the visit with my dear friend Carilyn 
teaching my brothers their anatomy got kinda crazy
he's into daredevil, i'm into river tam and shiny 

korean writings - i think this will be my motto this year 
Anyways, there you go!
It was a memorable year. Here's to twenty-sixteen being remarkably better, and much more full of Christ. ♪ ♥