I mean, I am not sure what exactly happened this year but THINGS OCCURRED and here I am, writing to you guys with some incredible experiences to recount.
Geez, that was super vague. I can't write any more. -_-
Well, I kinda officially earned my rank as a concert pianist.
(*insert endless exclamation marks here*)
(*and here*)
(*and here too*)
Okay screw that. Who am I to try and hide my excitement over that statement, when it was pretty much one of the most monumental experiences of my life????
I'M GONNA USE ALL THE BLASTED EXCLAMATION MARKS I WANT TO, THANK YA VERY MUCH.
I PERFORMED MY FIRST CONCERT EVER!!!!!!!!!! (there!)
Not just a recital. Not just a cameo in another artist's production.
My own, full concert. (with a cameo from another conservatory included.)
It was intense, it was amazing and it went by so very fast. I loved it so much.
I was asked to play at Dunnellon Presbyterian about five months ago, through my conservatory teacher Ms. Leslie. In five months, I had to pull together a full program of musical literature. It was a tight squeeze and there were times when I seriously thought it wasn't gonna work out.
Ms. Leslie and me
God is so gracious though. I don't know why He allowed me to have this opportunity and not somebody else, honestly. I didn't deserve it.
All I can express is gratitude. Thankfulness to Him for this chance that took 2015 and turned it into something so unexpected and marvelous.
Now, admittedly, I don't know if I've ever been so stressed in my life. During the whole practice stage, and the month leading into the concert, I was stresssssssssed beyond stressed. It might sound silly, but heck. I was bursting at the seams with excitement and pressure to succeed with this event.
I wanted to give it my all, and make good impressions with my audience since it was my premiere event. But most of all, I wanted to glorify my Maker and point back to Him.
Honestly, I was so looking forward to being done with the event so that the pressure would be relieved and I could exhale again.
It's so strange. All those weeks of practice and missing practice and killing myself for missing practice and wishing I'd gotten more done before the big day rolled in. All those days of dreaming about the concert, all the days of dreading it, and all the days of in-between where I honestly didn't want to think about it at all because my brain was fried.
Now those days are gone.
And now the concert is behind me, too.
What. Happened. To. Time.
Mommy & me
The longest wait was actually 30 minutes before the concert started, when I was forced to sit and do absolutely nothing backstage in the choir room. The funny thing is, those moments of build-up seemed to drone on for an eternity, while the actual concert flew by at a remarkable rate.
Some friends, Daniel and Anna
My program consisted of a myriad of pieces. Some of my own compositions, a little Chopin, a little Joplin and everything inbetween.
Hopefully I can get some videos up soon, but that's gonna take a while because eesh videos take agesss to edit on my computer.
But anyway.
//
One milestone down.
One step closer to my lifelong aspiration becoming the real deal.
One dream turned reality.
I can say now that I'm a true concert pianist because I've done the thing. I can say now that I know what it's like to perform over an hour's worth of music with an audience entirely at my disposal so to speak.
I've felt the struggles that came with it all, and learned the lessons it offered to teach.
Thank you so much to my extraordinary teacher Ms. Leslie, because without her, I would never have been able to accomplish this. She was the one who pushed me on. It wasn't pleasant sometimes but she knew what kind of thing I was getting into, and she treated it with according severity. I truly needed that kind of pushing.
With this event in the past, new windows of opportunity are continually opening. Life is a thrill, even when there are days that it's just the usual grind.
I can't wait to see what God has in store next.
// theme song for this post: "Do or Die" - 30 Seconds to Mars
// A result of random urges to write at 2 AM. Yes, it's somewhat dark. //
These Walls
These walls house two people, and them two people don’t get
along
These walls house two enemies, and they wage war, oh they
wage war
Welcome to a morbid home, these walls are covered in blood
Welcome to a battleground, a less-than-peaceful abode.
These windows are clouded, because the people always fight
These windows are a mirror to the darkness and the light
What a pity, what a shame. You wouldn’t understand their
little game
They’re both fighting to get out, and if you listen close
you can hear them shout.
Between these blue eyes you see,
There’s an entire world underneath
And beneath this
convincing smile
There’s a scheming crocodile
Inside this cranium, inside this heart
There’s no vacancy, that’s for sure.
Would you run if you
knew, that behind these eyes of blue
These walls house more
than one mind, and there’s a war, oh there’s a war inside
Would you think that I’m
a freak, if all within me were to speak
Would you run if you
could see, that there are two of me?
I told her to get lost, there’s no room in this little house
But she said she got a plan of her own, and these walls can’t
hold us both
So I drew my sword and she drew her sword, and we fought it
out right there
We painted the walls with blood, oh in our morose abode
These windows are tinted, so that nobody can look within
They’d see two girls fighting in a symphony of sin
These windows are a portal to a chaotic world below
Sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it’s a warzone
Between these eyes of cerulean,
There’s a constant struggle to be free
And behind this sun-kissed face
Is another girl in another space
No vacancy in this heart, no room in this mind
Too many occupants fighting for time
Would you run if you
knew, that behind these eyes of blue
These walls house more
than one mind, and there’s a war, oh there’s a war inside
Would you think that I’m
a freak, if all within me were to speak
Would you run if you
could see, that there are two of me?
And would it scare you
to know, that I’ve embraced it so
These walls house two
of us, and we’re rising from the dust
When we aren’t fighting,
we are strong – we create the harmony in our song
When I stretch my
wings, look to the sky, because it takes the two of us to fly
This is a strange little house, a strange little heart
But sometimes the occupants paint brilliant works of art
There is gold amid the crimson; stars in the darkened night
Because together, our minds as one, we’re victors in
our fight.
//
So yeah. This is what it's like to have two personalities (and more) in your mind.
Sometimes I hate it, sometimes it makes me stronger. If I don't render it to Christ, give Him full control, I'm always on the ground, crawling, and it's hard to see if I'm moving forward or not.
That's right, folks! Two more of my piano compositions have gone up on Amazon for you to purchase if you wish!
Which songs exactly?
My medieval-novel inspired score, Apriorian Lore!(Click HERE to be redirected to the Amazon page for it.)
Annnnnd.....the Hobbit-inspired piece...
Pursuit of the Dragon! (Click HERE to see it on Amazon)
EEEP! I am so incredibly excited. I now have three pieces up on Amazon!
So. I'd REALLLY appreciate it if you checked these out and shared them with your friends, family, writing buddies, anybody you think would enjoy it! It would mean the world to me!
I know I've not been posting much on this blog lately. But, life has been so crazy busy. I hope you guys understand - I'm sure many of you have some pretty hectic schedules yourself!
Hope everyone's having a blessed winter so far! Keep an eye out for a blog tour this Wednesday, from Aidyl Ewoh and Answers in Genesis!
So. I'm excited. Very, very excited. This is my first song to be made available for purchase to the public.
I would really, really REALLY appreciate it if y'all fabulous people could help me get the word out about this. I'll have more songs on the way, but I really could use some help with promoting my music here. So. If you could just share this with your friends...family...anybody who likes instrumental piano music...I would be sooo appreciative!! Mucho gracias, queridas!
I am pleased to announce the release of a brand new piano composition!
This one is slightly different than the others I've recorded, in that it is considerably longer than the rest. Well, it's almost seven minutes long, total running time! Eeesh. That's a long song if I do say so myself.
Anyhoo. It's, as of right now, something of the 'theme song' for my medieval novel Rehoboam. More of a montage of different themes for it, really.
Here is a very vague list of references in the song to these such themes:
Some of y'all have already been introduced to Rosyar, Kelita, Arden and Sholan. I did a drawing of Rosyar not long ago, and I did one of Kelita last year but...well, yeah. That was last year.
I hope y'all enjoy! I was excited to get this up, because obviously it's been a while since I've posted any new music.
It took me four hours today to record this. Nobody will understand how this could be, unless you've tried recording a musical piece yourself. Pair that experience with the fact that you're a perfectionist about your creative work, and voila, it's quite possible to spend a large amount of time dwindling on recording a single song. Ugh. At least I was able to record it though and get past the mistakes I made in the process...which hopefully none of you peeps will notice...*looks bashful*
Anyyyways!
I am so thankful to Jessie for letting me use her keyboard. I couldn't do this at all if not for her kindness!!
I just wanted to share something exciting with you. Thanks to a writing friend Sam Graber, you can now officially get sheet music for my Hobbit-inspired piano composition, Pursuit of the Dragon!Click here! Isn't that the coolest thing?? I spent a good several hours freaking out in excitement over it, honestly.
In other news, I've been spending a lot of today working on The Rebels and plotting future deaths events in the chapters to come. I have been hung up lately on one particular spot in the book but thank God, inspiration arrived today and I was able to put down a good number of new words in the document.
A few weeks ago I guess it was, I made this playlist inspired by Nathan. (coincidentally some of the plotting I did revolved around him...teehee)
I couldn't resist. This guy is such a character, and I've heard so many songs which reminded me of him...I just had to waste 20 minutes making an 'official' playlist about the fella.
Beyond that, I caught the bug yesterday...boo-hoo. Ironically I had just began beefing up my intake of very healthy things. Hopefully it will pass quickly and no one else in the family will get it. This is the first cold I've gotten this year.
Things I'm thankful for today:
| herbal tea | berry herbal brew | friends | a nice afternoon with mom in the woods writing | epic orchestral scores | cooler weather | being able to make progress in the book and screenplay |
The NGJ Great Ozark Mountain Shindig is THIS WEEK, people. This. week. I remember when earlier this year we conversed casually about the possibility of going to this event...and now, after months of anticipation and planning here we are!
I'll admit, we've been very focused on this event.
Preparing...packing...figuring out how to coordinate the whole trip.
In fact, our trek officially begins tomorrow afternoon. We'll be driving, and stopping in Lord willing at our AL friends' house along the way for a short visit. It's a solid two day drive. We'll be picking up a RV up in Nashville and then driving it the rest of the way to Missouri.
We've never rented a RV before. Daddy's never driven one.
This will be extremely diverting.
I am going to take a ton of pictures and video, documenting the pilgrimage. And maybe, just maaaaaaybe, you'll see some of it when we get back. *wink*
Prayers will be appreciated for traveling mercies, and sharp mental processes for the driver and crew!
Also, that weather would be beautiful and pleasant at the shindig. Thanks y'all!
It should be an excellent test of patience and being a helpful older sister, the trip itself. *snicker* But I need it, I'm typically far too impatient with my siblings and so how can one improve unless they're put to the test? Exactly.
Anyway. Words can't describe how thankful I am to my parents for letting us get this opportunity. My padre in particular has been so very selfless and generous with his time/finances to accommodate us. How could I be anything short of extremely grateful?
I have been looking forward to this event for months. I can't wait to play music with other fellow musically-minded people, to listen to great sessions by some of my personal inspirations/heroes (It's the Pearls after all!!) and meet new friends and likeminded families. It should be an amazing weekend!
In other news, I just discovered some new musics that I've been enjoying a bit too much.
Here they be, so you can enjoy their fluffy wonderfulness too, if you want. Great writing music, you writing peeps. *hint hint*
So! That wraps it up for today. I was going to go into a random, very raw post about emotional meltdowns and the search for life purpose but that will have to wait till' next time.
Welcome, welcome... to a long-neglected WriterlyWednesday post. I have some fun and exciting things to share with you today...er, this evening, so stay tuned.
One of them namely, is music related.
A fellow writer from GTW, Sam Graber, transposed my arrangement of Enya's Boadicea!
Sooo, you can now grab your own PDF sheet, right here! Isn't that exciting? I'm really thrilled about it- it's the first of my covers which has been officially made into sheet music. *does happy dance*
A big shout-out to Sam for taking the time to do this!
Let me tell y'all - for you people that are already playing piano, this song should be a breeze for you. And yet, even though it's so simple and easy to play, it still has that awesome Enya ambience to it. So it's a win-win situation! (Go check it out!)
Now. Just the other day, I was asked to expound a little on Arden and the Rehoboam medieval-fantasy novel which my song "Marred Legacy" was inspired from.
I wasn't originally planning to post anything directly from the manuscript, not for a while anyways, but after a bit of work on it today, I figured - heck, why not. I'm pretty pleased with it so far.
So, here you go, guys. I hope you enjoy it! Please don't be shy about giving honest feedback!
PROLOGUE
Things
have not always existed as they do today.
History
repeats itself, but change comes in a
variety of different forms.
Just
as castles crumble to dust within the passing of time, so the purity and
perfection of mankind has dissolved since the day that we allowed ourselves to
be deceived by a Serpent.
Change
can be an evil thing, and all too often it is thus.
But
in years long past among the souls of the great country Apriori, it was not
so.A change of a good tide had rolled
over the nation’s great borders.
Swords
were exchanged for plows and tilling tools and fields of corn stretched for
miles underneath the giant golden sun.
The
great land of Apriori had just awoken from a dark age of war against one of the
most fearsome enmities in its world. Apriori was free once more, and no longer
did its people lay to disintegrate in great seas of crimson blood.
Rosyar
was a peaceable man, in those times.In
that age, he was a man content on going about his own business, and he didn’t
care to mingle in the affairs of others. His heart retained good and mercy, even though
he was a man of few words and generally approved of keeping to himself.
Now
it happened that one day; this solitary fellow was going through town making
his routinely errands, when he spotted a thing that normally would have not
have caused him to take notice. His eyes beheld the weekly auction taking place.
5 young children stood, fettered, in the center of the meeting place courtyard
- a small crowd gathered around, talking amongst themselves.
For
a moment Rosyar didn’t take much thought of this, and silently he kept walking
onward.
But
for whatever curious reason, he found himself stopping; looking at the small
younglings huddled together with pieces of iron bound on their wrists and
ankles.
A
chill entered Rosyar’s being, and the man stood motionless, haunted by the scared-looking
little faces in the courtyard. What a
peculiar thing this was, indeed – many a day had he quickly observed the
events at the public auction, and many a time had slaves been sold before his
eyes. Why was this moment any different than the others?
But
somehow, it was. He decided to venture over to the crowd of onlookers, and observe
quietly the outcome of the children.
He
watched keenly, captivated. Maybe it was the protective arms of the older girl,
clinging to the baby against her chest. Or perhaps the middle-sized boy,
holding the hands of his younger twin sisters.
Rosyar
had never been very acquainted with youngsters. He could only remember one
relative, a niece, when she was a baby. It was nothing phenomenal and hardly
even remained a point in his memory.
So
thus he did not recognize any of the children to be from any state of
importance, let alone very different than the usual street urchins. Still he
was drawn to them, for a reason unidentifiable.
He
tarried, absorbed in studying the five, and was about to leave when he heard
someone call out a bid.
“80
shekels for the two elder ones together” A voice penetrated the low hum of
voices. The older girl’s free hand instinctively reached down, encircling her
other siblings protectively.
Rosyar’s
heart was pained suddenly at the sight and realization the children would be
split up if this person were to obtain them.
“What
of the other infants? I want them all to go together so I may be rid of them
entirely.” A thick, masculine-in-appearance woman said firmly. Rosyar studied
the female quickly. She must have been the owner of the five.
The
person who had previously inquired shrugged, but raised his hand higher to
confirm his bid. “I still want them. I can always turn the littles out in the
forest if need be.”
“Fine.”
The woman replied, emotionlessly. “Anyone higher than 80 shekels? Do I hear
90?”
Rosyar‘s
hand rose up, almost involuntarily, in fact. All eyes turned to him. He
swallowed, realizing what he had just done. What
in the world had gotten to him? He looked at the big-eyed children,
standing there in the midst of a sea of strangers.
Suddenly he felt a resurgence of compassion
for them, even though he had no clue what in the world he might do with the
little family. “90.” He announced, clearing his throat.
The
woman appeared pleased. “Anyone higher than 90? Do I hear 95?”
A
hand rose.
The
woman inquired again, “Do I hear 100?”
Rosyar
released a long sigh. What was he doing? 100 shekels wasn’t a small amount of
money, and it would take him a good while to earn it back.
“Going
once…”
Besides,
what would he do with these little peasant children anyway? He had never raised
a child in his lifetime, let alone five.
“Going
twice…”
But
that didn’t really matter. Besides, he could always use them to help with farm
labor and such.
He
raised his hand.
“100.”
So
there the fellow was, going up and asking that the children be unfettered.
He
had bought them, now they were his responsibility. But whatever would he do
with them? Especially the 3 littlest, a baby and two toddlers? For the love of Zenith.
Examining
each member of the clan, he quickly escorted the children from the bustle of
the auction.
“What’s your name?” He asked the oldest girl,
a dark haired child with searing ice-grey eyes.
“Kelita.”
She answered quietly, still gripping the infant as tightly as before.
“Kelita?”
Rosyar repeated. That sounded awfully familiar.
His
heart sunk, as the girl nodded distrustfully.A sick sensation plagued his stomach. O, it couldn’t be!Suddenly
he realized the connection. Was it possible this scrawny girl standing in front
of him now was the baby niece he had held in his arms years ago? The daughter
of his brother Rudekk?
No,
it couldn’t be.
Why would she be here, now? Whatever did happen to Rudekk and Virgata, anyway? And
who were these other children?
“Are
these your kin?” He inquired of Kelita.
“Aye,
my brothers and sisters.” The girl replied, undaunted.
Rosyar
stood back and looked at the group again. Sighing, he pondering to himself the
possibility. It was true, yes quite true that the last time he’d seen Kelita
was when she was a baby. Thus he didn’t know what she would have looked like in
the present day, if he were to see her again. There was no way to know since he
had not gone to visit Rudekk and Virgata since the war’s beginning.
There was a slight chance….maybe….
“Do
you have any parents?” He led the group away from the town’s commotion, to his
own abode in the woods.
“We
did…”
“Where
are they now?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Are
they alive?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Where
did you come from?”
“Sabatia.”
“Isn’t
that a rather dangerous place for such young children?”
“We
had to escape the soldiers.”
Rosyar’s
eyebrows furrowed. Was this child telling the truth or was she simply
attempting to give her new master the hardest time she could muster?
He
didn’t recall Rudekk’s family residing within the realm of Sabatia. Maybe this
was indeed a wild, insane notion after all.
“What
were your parents’ names?” Still, he must at least know a bit more exposition
on these children, if he was to keep them under his own roof.
Kelita
was silent, her eyes shifty and doubting as they stared up at Rosyar. The girl
was clearly distraught.
“Please
tell me child, I may know of their whereabouts.” He lied, hoping to gain her
trust.
The
man thought he saw Kelita’s eyes almost light up in hope. “Honest?”
He
smiled, persuasively. “Honest.”
“Rudekk
and Virgata.” She replied slowly, as if the words were knives cutting her
tongue as they slipped across.
Rosyar
caught his breath, and his gaze shot away from the children, absentmindedly.
Was
he hearing things? How in the world….
Was it just some incredible coincidence that this girl happened to have the same
name and parents’ names as did his kin? It didn’t seem possible…but what else
could it be? Could it truly be his little niece?
“Do
you have any relatives?” His heart rate increased in dread.
“Such as cousins?”
“No…aunts,
uncles, that sort.”
“Well,
mother said once I had an uncle still alive somewhere,” The girl’s tone was as
indifferent as her facial expression.
“Did
she tell you his name?” Rosyar found himself swallowing, none too happy with
the way things were looking so far.
“Rosyar.”
The
words fell as if they were a rock, a great heaving boulder. Rosyar almost choked stifling a cough, feeling
like a tremendous force had slammed through his body.This
was simply impossible.
Arriving
at the front door of his homely bungalow, the fellow turned around quickly, his
long black tresses swinging over his shoulders.
He
hadn’t intended for any of this to happen. None
of it, none at all. This event was the last thing the introverted man had needed
to enter his life.
“Did
you ever live in Bloodwort?” His voice
snapped, agitated.
Kelita
nodded subtly, staring up at him with fearful eyes.
“What
happened to your father?” Rosyar whisked out his house key from a side pouch on
his left hip, and inserted it into the front door’s keyhole.
“He…
was called away to fight.” Kelita wrapped her petite arms more protectively
around the miniscule baby, as it started to whimper.
Rosyar
swallowed, pausing a moment. Rudekk…his brother…could easily be dead this very moment.
For all he knew, he’d been dead for years.
Rattling
the iron key roughly in the keyhole until it finally caused the door to open,
he growled
“What
of your mother?”The man swung open the
door with such force it slammed against the wall, startling the infant, who let
out an ear-piercing wail.
“She
stayed behind to distract Varchess’ soldiers...” Kelita began rocking up and
down on her small heels, in an attempt to comfort the child. “…So we could run
into the forest.” She continued to stare
at the ebony haired man, in a mixture of contempt and distrust.
Rosyar
closed his eyes, taking in the news. He didn’t know quite rightly what to say.
It was very likely both Rudekk and Virgata were now dead –leaving Kelita, and
apparently his other nieces and nephews, permanently orphaned. What a
fine fix.
In
those days, Rosyar was a man who would risk his life to save another’s, but
only if it proved the utter last resort. The fellow wasn’t fond of heroic
efforts or patriotism, nor did he stick his neck out for just any person that
cried for help. Why in the name of all the heavens had he done such a rash
thing, on this day? What insanity had
stirred within his indifferent heart, that such a choice would be made?
The
man let out a long sigh, resting his arm against the pine door frame and
letting his head sink against it.
