Sunday, October 14, 2012

"Only Time" | Another New Piano Cover



Hey y'all! Guess what! Yep, I've got another piano cover out for y'all to listen to if you wish.
It's of Enya's song, "Only Time". I love that one. Of course, I love most of Enya's music, anyway.
:D She has such a unique style and voice.

Well, hope y'all enjoy it! Tell me what you think in the comments! I can't wait to hear from you!

And...I know I should be logging off now, but can I just say that having awesome late-night BOOK CHARACTER chats with Grims and Azzie are just epic? I can't believe I never thought of doing that before but let me tell you it rocks. My characters are having a ball...well, uh, most of them.

So that's random. But whatever, I'm pretty random anyway as you've probably seen by now.

Happy Monday!

 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Here I Am | NEW PIANO COVER!



Lookie, lookie! I've got a new piano cover out!
It's of the song "Here I Am" from the film Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. I love that song and just had to learn to play it on the piano. Learned this completely by ear.

Well, hope y'all enjoy it! Tell me what you think!

THERE WILL BE A NEW COVER OUT ON MONDAY. SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

Alright, alright, enough with the caps lock. I'll spare you.

Hope y'all are having a blessed week!

Hugs,

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Don’t Let The World See My Bleeding Heart


Today....well, I praise God for another day He has given me to live. He has already demonstrated bountiful blessings and mercies today, and all of those I am so thankful for.
I will admit....some of them I am still trying to learn to be grateful for. Let's just say today's also been filled with gallons and gallons of testing and trial.

I have no room to complain on any of the trials I've been going through, because in comparison they are....hardly worthy to be called tribulations. But none-the-less, they are there and they have been giving me quite a time. I guess the Lord is allowing satan the tempt me. Which I am thankful for. Because it shows that the devil is angry with me, I must be doing something right, to be making him mad like that.

But seriously....literally a minute after I finished prayers this morning, BAM! A huge patience test hits me in the face and I flunk it.

Things got progessively worse but the Lord helped me climb out of my mess I'd created. He's still helping me. Today's not even half-way done yet, so I must continue on. I must.

I wrote a poem. Haven't been writing much poetry lately but once in awhile, the inspiration will pop in and I am forced to write it down. Can't stand losing inspiration when it happens, you know. :)

So here it is.


“Bleed in Secret”

Oh, I’m fallin’ down,
Oh I feel alone.
Oh I need some help cause
 I can’t do this on my own.

Find myself running,
Trying to get away.
From everything around me,
I try to hide my face.

Don’t want them to see me crying,
Can’t let them see the tears.
Don’t want them to know I’m suffering
They don’t need to know my fears.

Abba, Father, I need You
No one else would understand.
No one sees the hurt within me
You alone can see within.

You know my heart is breaking
I feel it ripping apart.
But Father, please, I beg you,
Don’t let the world see my bleeding heart.

Don’t let my suffering become their suffering
Oh please, let it stop right with me.
While I ache and endure this hardship,
Let it be as if they never knew
What I am going through.
-
So maybe you read it and you're perplexed about what the heck I'm talking about....I mean, bleeding in secret? "Leah, are you into self-injury/cutting yourself now or something??"

No. I respect my body too much for that. This poem is referring to how when we go through trials, there are times when we need to...go through them in a way that doesn't cause others to have to suffer, too.

I don't want to enflict the pain and suffering that I'm currently going through on those around me. They don't need that. Yes, it's good to vent it out sometimes, but as Solomon said very wisely, "there's a time for everything." If I'm angry about something, I don't need to let my anger seep out and soil the day around me. I must allow God to cut it from my heart, bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut when I want to snap back at somebody.

If I'm in pain, physically and/or emotionally, I need to keep that pain to myself. In this season of my life, that's what I need to do. Just gotta bite the bullet and be strong.

The world doesn't need to see my tears.

What have you been struggling with lately? I hope the Lord has been guiding you through whatever it may be.


Blessings,


Sunday, October 7, 2012

So My Mind Went Blank.....

....on titles for this post, at least. I thought about calling it something very specific relating to the topic I am going to write on today, but then I remembered I would probably be adding in a ton of other random tidbits that won't fit under the title's caption very well. Oh, forget about the title, who cares? I'll stop yakking about nonsense and get to the heart of this post.

SOO...you're probably wondering WHAT in all creation this is about? Guess. Really. YES, really!  I want to see your responses about this. Ooh! Idea! I should have a caption contest!! :D


But before that...did I ever tell you I am a lumberjack sometimes? Ok, well, maybe that's a little overstated, but...hey...it's fun to be dramatic in what words you use. ;) So maybe I'm not working 9-5 in a lumber mill, or cutting down 90 ft.-tall pines. And my biceps are certainly not the size of Paul Bunyan's.

However, I did work a good bit out in the west-side garden. (We have several garden plots on property, this was just one of them) Florida has two main seasons for growing vegetables. Spring/early summer, and winter. The latter is our biggest, because the bugs aren't so terrible and the heat not so insanely oven-like.

I just love winter. Everything about it. Getting to wear hoodies, long sleeved shirts and jackets. Being able to wear my cowboy boots without people looking at me funny, because, well, I adore my cowboy boots, and wear them year-long. Even in 100 degree heat.

What else is there to love about the cooler season? I could go on and on...writing in my book, a cup of hot chocolate in hand next to the fireplace. Bonfires and roasting marshmellows. Night-time hide and seek with the boys. Going running, and feeling the epic combination of sweat and cold, evening breeze. Oh, I am looking forward to it.
 You are probably thinking, "oh, a snow picture! maybe it was from a freak snow storm in FL!" Guess again. This was in 'Bama two years ago on a visit to  some of our friends. FL don't get no snow here. :P

FL is practically 98% boiling hot and 2% mildly chilly, in comparison to other northern states. Last year, our winter was...puh...barely a winter, it was so mild. Our veggies were pretty enemic because of that factor. Cool-weather veggies need COOL WEATHER. Not 80 degree days in mid-January.

SO. I am hoping and hoping and hoping that 2012 will finish the year off with a nice, COLD winter.

Ok, so I took a bunny-trail there and lost my place. I was supposed to be telling you about my lumberjack career, wasn't I? ;) So as I was saying, the cool season for planting vegetables is here, and I've been working on getting the soil all tilled up and prepared for planting. Clay, as hard as it is to work with, broken down and worked, can actually produce good, rich soil. Ours is actually pretty nice right now and I think it's ready for the seeds. But what I worked on specifically yesterday, was the fence surrounding the west garden.

Random fact of the day: I put up both garden fences that are in existence today. All by myself. About two years ago. With a post-hole digger, shovel, axe and saw. Got 'er done decent enough. But, two years later, those same fences are falling apart and the chicken wire is all warped and mangled from weather and 4 brothers who try to jump over/climb/hit baseballs against it.

So it's time for a new means of keeping the dogs out. What means would this be? Take a look at this picture I snapped at Mount Vernon last week. 

As you can see, the concept is stacking wood in a strategic manner, sort of like Lincoln-Logs.

How the heck did this relate to my lumberjack comment? I will now explain. Obviously to have logs, one must either 1., go buy the wood, or 2., cut it yourself. I did number two there. Had some old trees in the woods that I chopped into logs and then stacked to form a fence. Quite a good bit of axing there, and today my arms are feeling it.  Got about a quarter of the whole thing done. It looks pretty good so far despite the mess surrounding the area...old chicken wire, old wood posts I had to pull up, tools, oh it's a fine mess right now.  Daddy's not too happy about it, either. :P

SO now you know about the lumberjack thing.

Gosh, I spent wayyy too long talking about that. The main thing I wanted to say today was...well. I'll just tell you right now.

Do you ever wonder if God truly forgives you when you mess up? I do, all the time. It's one of my most constant worries these days. I mess up...so often. Y'all know that, some, more than others. My family? They know it...well...I'll just leave it there. :P
So, I flunk and mess up quite often. What happens then? I go to God, (and, if it was a specific other person I wronged, them too) and ask forgiveness. And leave it there.

BUT....is that truly all I must do? It's been a struggle to believe this entirely, and not worry to death over it, but the answer...is yes. Leave it. Forget about it. Trust me, satan's going to make that last bit hard to do. I have been struggling with a particular sin lately, and he keeps reminding me about how I've flunked so bad in it. Get behind me, satan.

He tries to rub in my failures, like rubbing acid into a wound. And I must cast him out in the Name of Jesus, ignoring his spiteful words.

I must trust one-hundred-percent that God DOES forgive when He says He does. When I go to Him, begging His forgiveness. He forgives. I choose to accept that. That's all I can do, anyway.

At church today, I was only reminded all the more that He really does forgive. He is an awesome God, and incredibly merciful to His children. Aren't you just so in awe of that? What He does for us every day?

Even now, He is advocating for us in Heaven, even now, He is protecting and preserving us.

I will never ever be able to thank Him for all that He's done for me, entirely. There is no end to the praises and thanks He is worthy of receiving.

Hope y'all have had a blessed Sunday so far, I certainly have!

Con amor,


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Life These Days

Well, first of all....I am officially the worst blogger on earth. But y'all probably already knew that.
Life...it's been...how do I even describe it? I am not sure where to start. Things have been so crazy, so hectic, so....life.

Random rose that I snapped a picture of a few months ago. I rather like how it turned out.

The struggles of everyday continue. I continue to experience an equilibrium of peace and chaos, joy and pain, confusion and order. Did I ever tell you how scatterbrained I am? Well, that's a pretty well-known fact about yours truly. My mind exists in a constant state of trying to go a million ways at one time. That's just how I function these days. How productive I am in this state? That's debateable. I like to think that I make good use of multi-tasking.


Random picture of Luke on his birthday--he's such a cutie pie.

Mom says that multi-tasking is really pretty ineffecient (did I spell that right? Ugh, y'all probably know how terrible I stink at spelling.) and I know there is truth to that statement. There have been times when I have tried to run around and do a million things and then only a few of those even turn out decent. It's a hard task to ballance 10 different activities all at once. But it's something that, hard as it is, I live on. I thrive on it, strange as it sounds, especially since I flunk so bad at it often. But...that is how my mind works.
Even now, as I type this shabby little blog post on this shabbly little blog of mine, my mind is drifiting to a gazillion other places, people, tasks to do, you name it. Music events coming up which I need to practice my Southern Lights music for. Writing I need to do for my novel and screenplay. A dialogue I need to work on for an upcoming GFP political short film. My brothers who I need to spend more time with, and treat a heck of a lot better. Oh, and did I mention school? You don't want to know how terribly behind I've let myself fall in math. It's my fault; really, it is. I procrastinate horribly. So. What can I say. It's my fault.
Once again, something else I need to work harder on.

(Took this up in DC past weekend...ain't it such a perty rose?)

I have allowed my walk with God to...suffer. "Feel like God is distant? Guess who moved." I want to slap myself again and again for how I have abandoned Him when He has never once abandoned me.
I almost wish that a tribulation or trial would arise, so that I might be rebuked and chastised--every time this has happened to me in the past, it has pushed me closer to God. And every time, I am so dearly thankful for it. I know there are trials I am suffering through right now, in my life, however. It's not like life has ever been a piece of cake. No, no, no. It's just that the smaller trials tend to just get covered over as every-day annoyances, which you just endure through and don't really rely on God to get through, when the big ones come and force you to cry out to God for strength because you don't have anywhere else to go.

BUT, there have been times when those little every-day annoyances built up so greatly that suddenly, you are overwhelmed, outrun, totally wearied and exhausted. Suddenly, you are completely ashamed of yourself, and desperate to run to God.

(My brothers and I in Jax a few weeks ago. Taken by our marvelous father.)

I have not been sure how to describe my spiritual position lately. I cannot describe my feelings and soul condition. Honestly. The few things I can piece out about it is that I am completely and incredibly undeserving of the grace bestowed upon me by the Lord. I cannot even begin to say how unworthy I am.

  • I need Him. I.need.Him. More.than.anything.else.
  • I am a miserable failure without Him.
  • My mind is a morass, a trap I set for myself and find myself ensnared in daily, without Him.
  • My heart is wearied, lost, broken, tear-stained without His embrace.
  • I cannot die to my own sins without His help.
These are facts, clear as clear can be. As hard as I try to repent of my wretched wrongs and sins, I can't do it. Not without Jesus stepping in and helping me, lifting me from the miry mess I sink down into.

I am such a mess. Really, I am. And I suppose that's exactly why He came to die. For terrible messes like me. I sure am thankful for that. He is far, far, far too good to me.

Ok, I know I've been ultra-random today. Big surprise though, right? Welcome to my world. I am the queen of random. I am insane, crazy, well, organized chaos if there is such a thing.


And, it's time for me to wrap up this insane, crazy post. I know it wasn't as great as it could have been but...I hope you enjoyed it and were blessed by it in some way, anyway.

In other news, we just got back from our weeklong road trip up to Bethesda, Maryland, and the nation's capitol....Washington D.C. Maybe I will do a post just for that, with a ton of pictures. One of these days. See, I'm also the queen of procrastinators. Go figure.

Well, anyhoo, time to go. I am worn out. And still have the idealistic notion to write in my novel.

Blessings, y'all!






Monday, September 10, 2012

New Music Page!



In case y'all didn't know, one of my best friends, Maygan, and I just started a folk music duo/band called Southern Lights. She plays fiddle/violin, and I play accordion. Hopefully soon we will also be adding vocals to our music as well as guitar and eventually banjo. But that all will come in its proper timing. ;)
FOR NOW...we are a little twosome that loves to make music and glorify God through our music. We play a mixture of genres, but typically prefer folk, country, gospel and Irish/Celtic. We play at local festivals and events in North Florida.

WE WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IFYOU COULD GO AND "LIKE" OUR PAGE.
Ok....maybe I was going a bit overboard when I put that all in caps, no? LOL. I am inclined to think that was a bit much. But anyhow. We vastly appreciate your support in helping us spread the word about our duo.

Sooo....if you do....a thousand thanks and hugs to you! {thankyouthankyouthankyou}
Ok. I'm done with the shameless self-promotion.

Hope y'all are having an extremely blessed week so far!

 
 

Friday, September 7, 2012

Banishing Fear

Everyone is afraid of something.
Whether it’s the fear of spiders, the fear of heights or the fear of being rejected, we all have something which strikes fear into our heart.  I am not the kind of girl who gets frightened over spiders, snakes or dark spaces. Or even the thought of being rejected. But like every other human I have tendencies to be afraid of certain things. And one of those things is flying on airplanes.
I used to REALLY dread flying. In fact, I hated it. Even today, I can’t help but despise it. Flying makes my stomach turn cartwheels and my head dizzy. There have been times when I almost blacked-out while sitting there in my seat, trying to distinguish which side was up.
The thing is, I fly pretty often, so theoretically, my body should be used to it by now, right?
Well, it isn’t. But even though I still struggle physically with flying, at least my mental struggles have been calmed.
See, I used to lie in my bed at night picturing all the things that could go wrong on a commercial flight. I pictured planes doing double barrel rolls, or perhaps hurling into the Atlantic Ocean. The mental pictures I created sent shivers down my spine. Then came the dread. Dreading the next time my dad and I would travel somewhere for his work…flying on an airplane. I felt sick thinking about the flight ahead of me.
One particular trip, as my dad and I headed out the door for another of his conferences, Mom handed me a piece of paper. Glancing it over quickly, I found that she had written down multiple Scripture verses that talked about fear…and how to extinguish it.  She reminded me to trust God and to pray for His help, that I would be strong and courageous.  Her words were like a splash of cold water, refreshing and encouraging me.
Later, I did pray. I read the verses Mom had given me. I pleaded with the Lord, asking that He would banish the fear from my heart and help me to enjoy the flight. As our plane began to take off, and my stomach started rolling around again, I told myself everything was fine. I told myself I had nothing to be afraid of; I was a daughter of the King of Kings! He would take care of me.
We hit a little turbulence and my heart started pounding. My hands instinctively gripped the armrests beside me.
Relax, Leah. Loosen up. Relax. I heard the Holy Spirit coaxing me gently. Relax. It’s all under control.
And it was. I made myself calm down, and trust my Heavenly Father.
Before I knew it, the flight was nearly over and we were about to land. The Lord had kept His promise. He took care of me, and nothing crazy happened, after all.
Looking back, I wonder how I would have been if I had not prayed and put my trust in the Lord. By focusing on His Word in my time of fear, I was comforted and refreshed. By repeating those Bible verses my Mom gave me, I was strengthened and encouraged. God’s Word was like a balm of healing to my faithless heart.
How often do we let ourselves get wrapped up in worries and fears, when, if we were to turn to the Lord and focus on Him and His Word, we could be relieved of our anxieties?
How often do we forget to take our fears to God in prayer?
If He is powerful enough to create the entire universe, and all that is within, He is certainly powerful enough to help us banish fear from our hearts.

Have a blessed weekend!