//no i'm not crazy, i just like being single

//note: this post is not intended for younger audiences. it deals with sexuality and other serious elements. 

My mind has soared lately with a myriad of visions and dreams. 

Even though I genuinely look forward to Christ's return, (especially with this perilous era only growing worse)  I yearn to DO things in my earthly life. I have always been a dreamer, a visionary and a go-getter. 

More often than it should be, my dreams are self-focused and not centered on Christ. A close friend of mine has reminded me more than once that a plan is useless if not dedicated to Christ and reliant upon His approval. Scripture confirms this in Psalm 127:1. 

The world sees success as money, worldly goods and an attractive partner who can satisfy your carnal needs. 

Success in God's eyes is completely different. It is fulfilled in giving Christ your everything, spreading His love among creation, and loving Him with all your heart. Really, it could be summed up with just the first and last points, because if we do those things, all the other stuff will follow after naturally. If I love Christ, I should want to tell others about Him when I can. If I love my Savior, I should desire to serve my fellow human beings and be a beam of sunshine to whoever I encounter. 

One thing I have noticed, though, in the Christian, conservative community (I'm looking at you, fellow homeschoolers and homeschool alumni) is the large emphasis on getting married, ASAP. 

Obviously not /all/ folks in this category think like that, and I hate making blanket statements because obviously everyone is different. 

I'm just saying. It's common to see lots of focus on finding your match and getting hitched. Sometimes, "lots" is an understatement. 

It's not a bad thing to desire marriage, especially while in your early twenties when you think you're unstoppable against the world. In fact, not only is it perfectly normal and acceptable, it's in many ways, quite ideal. Our biological clocks are on a countdown. It's a proven fact that child-bearing is easiest when you're younger. Hormones are raging. Temptation looms over our naive, relatively-inexperienced heads like a giant, ominous weight; suspended by a piece of twine that could snap at any time. 

Let's face it, y'all. It's hard to be a young adult in twenty-sixteen.

 I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It's flippin' HARD. 

No other era in history has been so exposed to evil-on-demand as we are. Unfortunate as it is, we have a buffet of evil arrayed at our fingertips. So many items and flavors to pick from, and most can be in our grasp within minutes if not seconds, due to technology's encroachment in our lives. 

Sin has always existed, but in 2016 we are invited in enjoy it without guilt and to give it a seat at our table. Nobody even calls it sin to begin with, because that goes against the idealogy of relativism. 

 Sin is a welcome guest on earth. You're even called weird, prudish and downright hateful if you decide not to take a bite from this alluring buffet. 

And who wants to go against the flow? 

There's a reason that I say all this, by the way. I know I ramble, but I'm going somewhere - trust me. 

I just want to acknowledge how hard it is to be single and overcoming temptation in 2016. 

Personally, I suck at it. I literally am awful at being pure. I might be a technical virgin, but trust me, I don't deserve the title. I struggle with stuff, and I know it. Not gonna lie or try to put on airs.

 Sometimes, I wish I weren't created to be a sexual human being. Sometimes I question what all the temptation and struggling is really for, in the end. When I consider the fact that there's a chance I might not marry for a while, if at all, I even get angry.  Part of my flesh screams out in distress because my body craves to be fulfilled in ways that only a healthy union with my hypothetical soul-mate can satisfy. I'm not gonna lie. I crave sex just like anybody else. 

Don't faint.

 I can see you over there, on the other side of the screen, just staring in shock at that last line. You're probably thinking I've lost my wits, right? I mean, come on, we're not supposed to talk about this subject to begin with. It's just...taboo. Because. Reasons. Right..?

But seriously.

I know I just said it aloud what a lot of single Christian virgins are thinking but don't want to admit. 

Look, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging your body's biological functions and needs. Sex is natural, normal and even sacred. Society - and sin, overall -  has polluted many peoples' ideas on it, true. But it's still just as special and important as it was when it was first created. And, heck, biology is just plain biology, no matter how squeamish talking about it makes you feel. 

So, basically, there are definite biological reasons why marrying young is a good thing and very healthy. Even Paul acknowledged that marriage is good, relating to the subject of avoiding temptation to cave and act impurely. 

Of course, we also know there are countless other reasons why marriage is wonderful, if it is a healthy, loving marriage focused on God. In fact, it can be the most amazing union a man and woman can experience other than having a devoted relationship with God. 

But I'm not really here to preach a sermon on marriage. 

I acknowledge the greatness of a healthy marriage, and I understand the desire to seek out your mate ASAP. 

But let's get something straight.

Getting married is not your ultimate calling. 

Finding your soulmate is not the reason your were created. 

And, you can be perfectly happy and content as a single pringle. 

Newsflash! Being single is actually not a disease, problem or illness that needs to be cured! It's just another phase of life, that can be utilized in incredible ways to serve God. 

Being "single" is not part of your identity, and it doesn't define you. It's just another location on the map of life. And chances are, most of us won't be staying in this location for that much longer. 

You can call me weird, or insist that I'm just bluffing - but honestly? I like being single. I'm not just saying that. I really mean it. I genuinely am happy and at peace being free of a romantic, committed relationship.

That being said, I have been in a few relationships before. I know what it's like to go through all that, alright? I've been there. It has it's ups and downs. Clearly I haven't found 'the one' yet - that, or maybe the timing is just not right currently, if I have met the guy already. Who knows at this point. It's all in God's hands and I don't dare try to take it into my own.

Dating/courting somebody can be amazing, and it can bring a lot of happiness and fulfillment into your life. Hopefully, the other person's in the same belief-system as you so you can encourage eachother in your spiritual journey. If you get physical, well - yeah. There's that too. (Personally for numerous reasons I don't advocate a high level of physicalness in a relationship like this.)

But fact is, relationships also suck. There's a whole truckload of pressure that gets unintentionally heaped on both parties. Whether you want it or not.

 In my experience, the men tend to jump in head-over-heels emotionally and are spouting off the "I loves you"s way too early in the relationship. What does this do? It makes us girls feel like we have to reciprocate the sentiment, whether or not we actually feel the same. Sometimes you might like somebody, but you don't know if you actually love them. Heck, I feel like this the story of my love-life so far. *shakes head* I mean, there are incredibly amazing men out there, but when you already struggle with mental clarity (or lack thereof) and hyper-distorted messed up hormonal imbalances, it's incredibly difficult to ever truly understand your feelings when it comes to love and what love actually manifests itself as. I could write a whole other post on what love is and isn't, on my meager knowledge of the subject. I probably won't though, because honestly I'm stillllll incredibly clueless and that's kinda why I'm single. 

Perhaps I'm delusional, but I think it's perfectly acceptable to be content during your single years. 

There is nothing wrong with not desiring romance for a little while. In fact, when you can actually put this particular subject aside and give it a break, you get to really experience life in ways you couldn't during a committed relationship. 

-You have more time to fulfill dreams and serve God, for one. 

-You don't have the potential drama, stress and mess of emotional entanglement. 

-You don't have to worry about pleasing a significant other and catering to their wants/needs. 

-You belong to nobody. You are your own person, free from the confines of expectations and commitment that a relationship demands. 

Not to mention, there's nothing like that feeling of being an untamed "calico pony on an open prairie". The sky is the limit! (Obviously I don't say this in reference to what sin or bad stuff you can get away with. It's more of, being free emotionally and spiritually.) 

The biggest reason I choose to be single currently is because of my relationship with God.

How can I have a successful, productive relationship with a human if I can't have a fruitful, passionate relationship with Jesus, the Creator of mankind? 

I know we're all works in progress and that you can't necessarily use that as an excuse to stay single forever. But truth is, it's easier to develop you walk with God when you don't have another person competing for your time, love and thoughts. 

So, no. I'm not weird or crazy. I simply want to seize the day. I aim to make the most of each season God gives me. 

And right now, that means loving my single years, treating them as a precious gift. Not letting them go to waste.

I invite you to do the same. 

//the power of peace

What is /peace/?

It is not the absence of conflict. It is not the absence of turmoil or hardships. 

It is definitely not the lack of tribulations or trials. 

Peace is something I think we all desire. 

Because even the humans that possess all the world's riches, power and charms still end up committing suicide, or ruining their lives because of their inward misery. 

In simple terms, they die for lack of /peace/. 

In a world that is spinning 1,040 miles per hour, our lives seem to whiz by at even greater speeds.

And even though we never notice the rotation of the planet we spend all our lives firmly planted on, we sure get caught up in every form of stress possible. 

We are addicted to constant activity, to constant entertainment and constant /stress/ - even when we aren't aware that we are. Stress comes in many forms. 

Peace is so much simpler, but sadly, when we let ourselves be overwhelmed with the constant act of always engaging in something, we can lose the connection with the subtle beauty of true peace.

It's easy to do because peace isn't a flashy thing that demands you to notice it. Unlike happiness, excitement or passion, it is quiet and unassuming. 

But even when you sit an do /nothing/ peace isn't inherently there. (it sure is nice to just stop and do /nothing/ but exist now and then though)

Peace is knowing that even though you have enemies, it doesn't matter in the long run. 

Peace is the comfort of knowing that, despite the world crumbling around you, you're going to make it out safe and sound.

Peace is the sense of free-falling when you release all worry or concern over things you have no control about. Everything from major life questions that haven't been answered yet to financial needs and desires for the future. It's a little unsettling at first because you feel like you're dropping out of the air with no parachute. 

You only see the parachute puff out above you until after you make the jump. 

Peace is powerful and life-changing, because it completely affects your being once it settles in your soul. 

It calms your internal tempests when you come face to face with the greatest external hurricanes. 

Only when you are full of peace can you see clearly and sensibly through the trials of life. 

And in the midst of those trials, despite the pain and heartache, you still know it's going to be okay. 

Peace is when you decide you're not going to expend emotion where it's not necessary.

 Peace is deciding to hold your tongue when someone criticizes or insults you,

Peace is not stooping to the level of those who wrong you. 

Peace is not found in getting even or returning evil with evil.  

Peace is found when you cast all your cares upon your Creator, and leave it His hands. 

// 1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your care upon Him; for He cares for you.

// 1 Corinthians 14:33

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...

I don't know about you, but I am a seeker of peace. 

Being at peace is far more powerful than any other state of being.

And only the peace found in Jesus can truly suffice. 

Essence of Humanity // a bit of prose

“Essence of Humanity”

Eyes lacking vigor, hands drained of life

A mouth that only utters empty promises and lies

Aggression leaves its mark in the lines on our faces

Some days we’re proud of them, and some days we hate it.

I run, but it’s not from someone else I try to hide

I cry, but it’s not from the rolling thunder in the night sky

I fight, but it’s not against a person the eyes can behold,

It’s against that blue-eyed girl staring back in the mirror. 

We have good days and bad, but deep down we’re always searching

For an answer to a question that’s beyond our understanding

Cause’ the pain inside won’t go away, without some kind of remedy

And when we try to fix it ourselves, the medicine only turns to poison.

I run, but it’s not from someone else I try to hide

I cry, but it’s not from the rolling thunder in the night sky

I fight, but it’s not against a person the eyes can behold,

It’s against that blue-eyed girl staring back in the mirror. 

Who knew the greatest enemy, could be the essence of humanity

At our greatest, we just amount to failure.

Can’t you see the pain that we’re all trying to hide?

Do you understand the mighty torrent raging deep inside?   

On earth, where can I find the remedy?

If it were here, wouldn't it be clear to see?

 Earth provides not solutions - just clues, pointing Above, subtle signs 

And the essence of humanity overlooks them all the time. 

///

This is a song I wrote earlier in the year when I was going through 'my personal hell'. I didn't really finish it into a piece that I'd feel comfortable actually singing in front of someone, but I think that the conclusion is clear regardless. 

We can't fix ourselves. 

It has to be Christ. 

A supernatural intervention from the Creator of the Universe is the only way to cure the human soul's devolving condition. 

Vaya con Dios mis amigos, 

Was Jesus Black?

(random photo that has absolutely nothing to do with this post )

 

If you're reading this now or came to this post because of the title...Well hi there. How's your week been going?

 

 Yes, it's going to be a very unique post considering what I usually write about here. I can imagine some of your faces as you read this. You're waiting to see if this is going to be... well, okay, let's just say you're probably curious.

 

I've debated doing theological posts on Apassionata but declined the notion because I figured there was already enough...um...craziness randomness here? Yeeeah. That's why Symphony and I started Creation Gals.

 

But today I'm changing it up for once. This is a topic which rested in my brain several months ago and I've deliberated deeply on it since.

 

Racism.

 

 So many misconceptions. So many false assumptions. So much hate - and I do mean, the true meaning of hate. (Not the liberal, left-wing manipulation of the word.)

It happens on both sides...both white, and black. It has the potential to occur in every soul, no matter the nationality or color.

 

The word 'race' itself, is racist. (for more on the word 'race' read this article I wrote on Creation Gals)

It's an evolutionistic term at root and implies a species still in the process of evolving to its full potential/state of existence.

When the word 'race' is viewed under such terms, it makes sense why people can so easily fall to looking down on somebody a different color or background then themselves.

Most of our vocabularies include a racist term, and we don't even blink twice! Is that not scary?

 

So. I've opted not to use the word 'race'. I could go into more reasons why this is a word to avoided, but technically that was already covered in the article noted above.

 

It's really tragic to me how easily humanity derides against itself...and for the most petty reasons.

 There will never be world peace or anything similar until Jesus returns and the new heaven/new earth is instituted, true. It's just heart-breaking to me, to see people look down on one another simply because of the amount of melatonin in their skin.

 

Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart.

 

It's all due to our sin nature. We are inclined to such things, being a fallen creation.

I'm not perfect, myself. In fact, I'm far from being thus. It's amazing how much I mess up, and how easily my thoughts turn from being on the right things.

 

I never thought of myself as being racist. In fact, the subject has always stirred my heart...even to the point of inducing a form of anger. When I read of the injustices and wrongs done to people simply for skin-deep reasons, I cringe and involuntarily grit my teeth. I hate to see it.

 

And then these questions hit me out of nowhere. And suddenly I found myself pondering something I'd never really taken into deep consideration before.

 

Does God have a 'skin color?'

 

Was Jesus black?

 

Is God black?

 

What about Adam and Eve?

 

 

It seems everybody creates assumptions about God/Jesus' appearance. Go to a white church, there are pictures of artists' conceptions of Jesus. He's usually rendered as a clean-cut, effeminate looking fellow with a mild, clean cut beard...and very pale, colorless skin. Very white.

Go to a black church, there are artists' conceptions of Jesus. He's typically rendered as a clean cut, but no so effeminate looking man with a beard and chocolate colored skin. Obviously black.

The same formula follows for other people groups and nationalities.

 

Now, the fact alone that we have 'white' and 'black' churches irks me, but that's a topic for another time.

 

The point is, we all picture Jesus as looking the way we look. It's an involuntary mindset. I'll admit, I never used to question those pictures on the church walls or in the children's' Bible story books.

It may seem trivial, to question what Jesus looked like during His time here on earth.

But isn't it still worth the thought, since it is, after all the Creator of the universe? Isn't it worth the thought just because it's something to make us examine our outlook on things?

 

If God truly does have a 'skin color', (we are made in His Image, after all) what immediately comes to your mind? This will prove where your involuntary assumptions are.

This being said, I don't believe we'll ever be able to know what He looks like until we meet Him for ourselves. I picture Him as He is described in Revelation and throughout Scripture. Being clothed in white, best likened to a beam of blinding, incredible light.

The human mind cannot truly fathom His appearance.

 

What did Jesus look like, during His years spent here? Once again, no one will ever know while abiding in this current life. I picture Him as being neither white nor black, but in between, due to the middle-eastern region He hailed from.

 

Adam and Eve. Were they black? White? Asian? Latino?

 Here is another misconception I believe that's made and all too often. In the kids' Bible story books, Eve is portrayed as having long blond hair, and pale skin. Adam looks similar.

To me personally, I don't believe this factually conceivable. Since all the world's future inhabitants would spawn from this couple, there must have been enough potential for genetic diversity within their DNA to provide this. If both Adam and Eve were 'white', where would the melatonin come from to create darker skin later on?

If they were both 'black', it wouldn't be possible for any of their descendants to ever have a lighter complexion.  

 

Simple enough, right?

 

 So how then do we have the incredible diversity of color and physical characteristics in the world today?

 

What if....

a. Adam and Eve possessed more middle-eastern characteristics - olive skin, dark hair, etc.

or b., one was 'white' and the other 'black'?

 

These two options seem the most plausible to me. Especially the latter. As I said before, I am hardly very knowledgeable and I myself make many presuppositions, many prove to be false.

But I like to think. I like to question. And as simple an issue as this may seem, it truly can raise quite a debate.

 

So...what am I concluding?

If you're truly not racist, you should be able to view Jesus/God/Adam and Eve and being any color. We have no hard fact of what any of them looked like/look like, so therefore we shouldn't cling to this solid idea that they looked any one way.

 

Make sense? Hopefully, yes. 

I know in the long run it won't matter, compared to other things, but I still think it's a fascinating topic to ponder.

  I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter!

 

Soli Deo Gloria,

Life Is A Balance

 

I don't know about y'all, but lately my life has been full of reminders.

 

Reminders of how precious time is, and how little of it there really is. Reminders that my childhood is slipping away; and that soon adulthood shall be at my door, beckoning me into its world.

 

This isn't a bad thing., no not at all. Sometimes however I let it drag me down.

I mean, seriously...the time passes so ridiculously quick, does it not?! If you think on it too much it can get you in a mindset of serious depression.

 

If you think on it too much.

And forget to be thankful for the days you've already been blessed with.

 

 

Something else that's been on my heart lately has been the fact that so easily, things in life can get out of balance.

 

One particular activity takes center stage while more important things slip to the back burner.

 

Priorities get misplaced and suddenly you're wasting time on something completely NOT on the schedule.

Unfortunately, it happens oh-so-easily. Without even thinking about it, I manage to do exactly what I

'preach against', so to speak.

 

Lately, I'll admit that I've struggled with misplaced priorities. I've gotten on Facebook and spent way too long there - whether it be chatting with friends, commenting on other peoples' posts or even just scrolling the newsfeed. I've given it too many of my hours, and for what outcome? How will spending so much time on social networking sites benefit me - or others - in the eternity to come?

 

When I spend too much time "connecting" on Facebook, what better, more fruitful activities could I be doing instead?

 

I've also been considering how much time I spend blogging. I currently own four different blogs, and contribute regularly to at least two of them. This has occupied a good portion of my time as well. At least with blogging, I've told myself, I can see visible end-products. I can hope that my posts have touched y'all's hearts and pointed you to the Savior. I can hope that I was able to pass on useful information which might benefit you readers.

 

Still.

 

Which is more important - blogging about God, or actually spending time with Him?

 

Please note - I aim not to condemn anything or anyone, but only to raise some heartfelt questions.

 

If I were to say nothing else but a few more words, I'd say this: Life is a balance.

Everything we do, every choice we make - it's all about balance. You can upset the balance by misplacing priorities and putting important things on the back burner while more trivial items get center stage; or, you can maintain proper balance by making sure the more vital things are accomplished first. And if these things do get accomplished first, everything else will fall into place.

 

Once, several years ago, I was in a season of almost-too-abundant (wait...who am I kidding? My whole life has been way-too-abundantly blessed!!) blessing and I puzzled over why things were that way. Why had God given me such favor?

My mom gave me an interesting answer. "Because you've been putting Him first in your life". (paraphrased)

 

I still believe that all my years have been blessed incredibly beyond what I deserve. I do not exaggerate when I say incredibly blessed. It's just truth plain as that.

However, some days you feel the presence of God more than others. There were days when I felt His presence so incredibly often. I had joy that was indescribable. Sure, I had days when I fell out of whack and didn't give Him the time He deserved, but overall that joy was immense and oh-so-wonderful.

 

I still experience this joy now, but sometimes I wonder if I am subtly pushing my Creator away by the things I do - or don't do - in my days. The choices I make for how I spend my time affect my relationship with Christ. My choices affect my future.

 

Choices are so important. And it's all the more vital that we make the right ones. ANYTHING can be overdone, or had too much time/energy/thought put into it. Anything can be placed out of balanced, prioritized wrongly. Anything that is, besides God and His Word.

So, I know this was a rambling kind of post. Hopefully it wasn't boring or preachy-sounding to you. I have just had these thoughts on my mind and felt led to share them with y'all.

 

On a lighter note, summer is here and I can't wait to go to the beach in a few weeks. Above is a collage of photos from 4-5 years ago at our beach hotel we visit every year for our annual family reunion.

 

This one (yes, I edited it and put a filter on it *grins sheepishly*) was from 3 years ago.

 

Am I the only one who is loving this jumping-in-photos thing? My brothers and I did the whole shebang before it even got popular, as evident above. ^_^ I hope we can take some more fun jumping pictures this year too.

 

What are you looking forward to about summer?

 

Soli Deo gloria,

In Which I Retrieved The Long-Lost Colored Pencils...

 How many of y'all like to draw or sketch?

Personally, I take great pleasure in creating art...of various forms. Whether it be by musical means, by words in my written works, or by using pencil and pen on a piece of blank paper, it is a thoroughly satisfying pastime. 

Mostly I do black and white pencil sketches, some of which you can see by clicking my Art & Illustration page on the top tab of this blog. I used to do a lot more colored pencil work, but lately, it has rather intimidated me and I've been too lazy to try it again; so I've stuck to plain ol' black and white. Which is fine, because I love b/w drawings in general. But God did create a world of color, so it only makes sense that one should use it at some point, does it not? 

So, the other day, I sat down quite at random and decided to retrieve the long-forgotten and long-unused Prismacolor colored pencils I'd used so often, so long ago in my earlier days. By the way, if you ever are looking to get a set of nice, high quality pencils these are definitely my recommendation! They lay down the color so well and the quality is evident immediately. They're a little on the pricier side by so worth it. I have a set of their regular colored pencils, their VeriThin colored pencils, and some of their markers. 

These photos constitute the finished product of my work. (Even though I can never seem to capture my art completely in the original form on camera, no matter what I try!) 

For using mediums I'd not touched for at least a year and a half, I'm pretty happy with this drawing. I know it has a lot of things which could be improved (let me know if you have some honest advice on how to do this!)  but I guess that's the case with just about anything one does, isn't it?

SO. I'd love to hear what you thought of this! And, like I said, if you have any ideas or tips on improvement of future colored pencil art, I'd love to hear it!

Be on the lookout for more review posts coming soon... there should be another one probably this Saturday or Friday.

OH, and before I forget, let me tell you about today's praise report!! I got my accordion fixed! A wonderful lady named Rose drove up two hours just to help me get the job done. I'm so thankful! Praise be to God for His provision and blessings which never cease!! He is so good!! Another answered prayer. Never doubt His planning because He knows exactly what He's doing!!

Hope y'all are having as blessed a day as I am!

Nothing Left to Say

(Taken when I was 14- Sorry for a random, old picture, I'd upload something more recent and exciting except Blogger won't let me upload new photos for some reason. Grr....)

-

I keep falling, I keep falling down/If you could only save me, I'm drowning in the waters of my soul/I'm giving up, I'm giving up, hey hey, giving up now.

Imagine Dragons' song "Nothing Left to Say" has really been hitting home to me in my life today. You know how some days go really well, others go simply awesome and, sometimes, you get a day that's about one degree away from utter perfection? I'd love to tell you that today I experienced one of those days.

But that would be lying.

Today was actually the worst day I've had this year. I don't know why exactly and the reasons I have figured I need not go into detail with. But I truly have been "falling down, drowning in the waters of my soul."

Without God, this could be true for every day of our lives. It's only when I get off track from His will that I find myself in this situation, drowning. I know that I've been doing some things which are not what He would want me to be doing, so I can only blame myself.

Do you ever feel like you've confessed to God the same sin literally hundreds upon hundreds of times? This is another thing I've been struggling with, and if not dealt with properly, it can eventually lead to drowning.

I've come to the position and conclusion that as the song says, it's true. There's nothing left to say.

The Lord didn't save me because of what I did, but what He did.

When I ask for forgiveness of my sins, He forgives me because His mercy is never-ending, not because of my mere human words or what I do to try and prove myself.

There's nothing left to say.

You just have to surrender to God, admit you were wrong and thank Him for His ever-so-abundant mercies. That's all. You don't need to go into lengthy detail, just ask His forgiveness, and mean it.

Ask Him to help you repent, and He will. But you have to LET Him. This is very challenging in itself.

And here's where we come to letting go, giving up.

"I'm giving up, giving up, hey hey, giving up now."

Give up those emotions of hatred, anger, resentment, bitterness, heartbreak, whatever they may be.

Give them up entirely. Don't let any smidgen remain in your soul. Let Him take them away, wipe your slate clean.

There's nothing left to say.

Banishing Fear

Everyone is afraid of something.

Whether it’s the fear of spiders, the fear of heights or the fear of being rejected, we all have something which strikes fear into our heart.  I am not the kind of girl who gets frightened over spiders, snakes or dark spaces. Or even the thought of being rejected. But like every other human I have tendencies to be afraid of certain things. And one of those things is flying on airplanes.

I used to REALLY dread flying. In fact, I hated it. Even today, I can’t help but despise it. Flying makes my stomach turn cartwheels and my head dizzy. There have been times when I almost blacked-out while sitting there in my seat, trying to distinguish which side was up.

The thing is, I fly pretty often, so theoretically, my body should be used to it by now, right?

Well, it isn’t. But even though I still struggle physically with flying, at least my mental struggles have been calmed.

See, I used to lie in my bed at night picturing all the things that could go wrong on a commercial flight. I pictured planes doing double barrel rolls, or perhaps hurling into the Atlantic Ocean. The mental pictures I created sent shivers down my spine. Then came the dread. Dreading the next time my dad and I would travel somewhere for his work…flying on an airplane. I felt sick thinking about the flight ahead of me.

One particular trip, as my dad and I headed out the door for another of his conferences, Mom handed me a piece of paper. Glancing it over quickly, I found that she had written down multiple Scripture verses that talked about fear…and how to extinguish it.  She reminded me to trust God and to pray for His help, that I would be strong and courageous.  Her words were like a splash of cold water, refreshing and encouraging me.

Later, I did pray. I read the verses Mom had given me. I pleaded with the Lord, asking that He would banish the fear from my heart and help me to enjoy the flight. As our plane began to take off, and my stomach started rolling around again, I told myself everything was fine. I told myself I had nothing to be afraid of; I was a daughter of the King of Kings! He would take care of me.

We hit a little turbulence and my heart started pounding. My hands instinctively gripped the armrests beside me.

Relax, Leah. Loosen up. Relax. I heard the Holy Spirit coaxing me gently. Relax. It’s all under control.

And it was. I made myself calm down, and trust my Heavenly Father.

Before I knew it, the flight was nearly over and we were about to land. The Lord had kept His promise. He took care of me, and nothing crazy happened, after all.

Looking back, I wonder how I would have been if I had not prayed and put my trust in the Lord. By focusing on His Word in my time of fear, I was comforted and refreshed. By repeating those Bible verses my Mom gave me, I was strengthened and encouraged. God’s Word was like a balm of healing to my faithless heart.

How often do we let ourselves get wrapped up in worries and fears, when, if we were to turn to the Lord and focus on Him and His Word, we could be relieved of our anxieties?

How often do we forget to take our fears to God in prayer?

If He is powerful enough to create the entire universe, and all that is within, He is certainly powerful enough to help us banish fear from our hearts.

Have a blessed weekend!

 

Through the Fire

"Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is." 1 Corinthians 3:13

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when it felt like you were being tried?

A time when every event during the day seemed like a test, a challenge? I'm sure most of you have....most people do, at one point or another. It's really quite normal and expected, especially if you are a follower of Jesus Christ.

Sometimes....it can be hard. You can almost feel the chastening of the Lord's fire as it dissolves each work, making known what each was made of. Each thought and intention, opened and dissected to reveal what was truly in the heart. "Every man's work shall be made manifest..."

Sometimes, this can be humiliating as well as painful. Many an instance, we don't want our Creator to see what's truly in our hearts. We know something's wrong, thus, we are ashamed and guilt-ridden. Many times, there is sin which is blatantly obvious to us, and it's no mystery or enigma to try and figure out what we're doing wrong.  It's spelled out in red letter, right there in front of our noses.

There's no hiding from reality.

Sometimes, though, the sin is not so obvious to us; and we may not even realize that we are committing it. This can be difficult to identify without YHWH coming in and removing the scales from our eyes. We may continue on for weeks, months, years even, thinking we are without a particular sin, and all the while, knee-deep in it.

Personally, I have been seeing more and more examples of this within my own life.

Recently, we had a friend's children over to stay with us while she and her husband were out of town for a family emergency. This was an experience I will not soon forget.

Let me make this known, I am certainly not perfect. That should've been obvious by now, anyway. But sometimes I think a little higher of myself than I should. I consider myself "too good" to do a particular sin, but guess who manages to always keep falling down again and again into the same wrong-doing?

Yep. That's right. Little ol' me. Miss "thought-she-was-way-more-patient-than-she-really-is."

Frankly, I never knew I could be such a nasty jerk! I always thought I was a pretty patient soul, patient enough, at least, but NEVER overly impatient and hasty to lash out. I guess wrong. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

I think God personally peeled the scales from my eyes over this last weekend, chiding and reminding me of my sinful nature which I'd seemingly forgotten about temporarily. I think He was trying to show me once again about how imperfect I am on my own, without Him, and about how desperately I need His divine help to drag myself out of the morass of my sin. Actually, I could never drag myself out. He has to do the rescuing, not me. I can't rescue anybody. That's why He came to earth, to begin with. To rescue the souls of those He created. I am so thankful for His precious sacrifice....it would be a scary, scary world and horrific eternity, without it.

So...back to the topic of works being tried. Through the experiences the Lord let me go through this past weekend, I think He really did "try my works" and my heart. He showed me how impatient I have let myself become, and how I need to repent of this impatience. I gained priceless experience, knowledge and wisdom from this visit., and actually feel a few years older, too, haha. :) But, in a good way. It's a sobering, yet wonderful feeling to know the Lord opened your eyes to something He wanted you to see.

Even if it was a time of reproving and chastising. I am still very thankful for it and wouldn't dare think of looking back or wishing it didn't happen. (what does simply wishing do for anybody, anyway?!)

Have you been seeing God work in your life lately? How has He been pointing you to His ways and kingdom? What have you been learning lately about His will for your life?

Well, I need to be going now. Traveling out of town for the weekend for my dad's work, and need to finish preparing for the trip. :)

Hope y'all are having a very blessed summer so far!

Blessings,