Oy, it's sad when you forget you even have a blog. I mean on one hand I feel bad for not keeping up with this thing, but on the other hand, I don't, because seriously, I just haven't had time to keep posting on any of my blogs. I mean, I /could/ make time, but I would rather spend it on other things you know?
Gah, life is such a roller coaster. That's old news though, isn't it?
These past several months have been utterly mind blowing. Some days I feel like a leaf on the wind, being blown all over the place and having no idea whether my next moment will be spent plummeting towards the ground or soaring back up into the sky.
Confession: I've allowed myself to get lukewarm in my relationship with Christ. It's scary how quick it can happen, and how subtlety satan can get his foot in the door. So many temptations that weren't overcome, and battles that weren't won. The victories seem so small sometimes, in comparison.
So many reasons to thank God He's even given me a second chance. And a third, and a fourth, and a hundredth. And a thousandth. Sometimes I wonder how He can possibly forgive me that many times. It's truly beyond my comprehension.
"Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free..."
My days have been spent both in productivity and slackness, I have to admit. I've spent too much time on social media, but I've also done more piano teaching than I ever have before.
I organized a contra dance for families in my area, which was a new thing. And I also put on a recital for my piano students - another first. Both had tremendous results, I would say! Super exciting. I love starting new things!
I submitted The Rebels of Florida to a bunch of different publishers and agents.
I experienced my first break-up.
I've been searching for my first vehicle.
I got to have a dear friend, Cari, from Washington, stay and visit for several days. (we may or may not have done lots of hiking, and gotten ourselves lost on an equestrian trail...)
I've gone no-poo. (no synthetic shampoo or conditioner, only natural alternatives)
I went on a literal roller coaster for the first time.
I've started looking for a new church to go to.
"Why do all my dreams extend, just around the riverbend?"
Some of my dreams are ones I am living, and I am pretty darn happy with that fact.
But there will always be dreams and ambitions that are 'around the riverbend', yet to happen, Lord willing. I feel like if a soul gives up all hopes and dreams of their own, they lose the essence of what it means to be truly alive. God didn't make us to be creatures of ritual, always stuck on a single track of eat, sleep, work, repeat. At least, I don't think He created us like that.
Because whenever is stagnation healthy, or desirable?
Never.
That's why life throws us curve balls, as some people say. We need change to thrive. We atrophy without it. The waters of our soul become lukewarm and putrid, without the heat of tribulations and tests to set us on fire for God. The flames can either be the straw that breaks the camel's back, or it can be the best thing that ever happened to us.
I don't know about you, but I think I'd do just about anything for the latter.
Seriously, every time something big happened in my life, that I wasn't expecting, spiritual revival was right down the road. And once you've tasted true revival, you can't get enough.
Urgh, I'm random. But at least you now know that I've not vanished into thin air, or been sucked away into outer space. *cough*
Tomorrow I begin a pretty time-intensive summer piano course at the conservatory, which will be very exciting. I'm so thankful to both sets of grandparents for sponsoring me!
Well, time to depart for now. It's late as usual. What's been new with y'all peeps?
Ciao,
